We loved it… but is it “Scout Approved”?
Scout’s a tough sell. While he’s a libertarian who believes in a free market, he’s a little off-put by the garishness of capitalism. He believes in small, local businesses and is a bit of a snob about “chain” restaurants. This isn’t to say that he’s an all-around restaurant snob or requires anything more than a paper plate. In fact, Scout’s favorite finds are those hidden behind the dry cleaners in old strip malls where someone’s great uncle opened a noodle house thirty years before. Restaurants that earn a “Scout Approved” are original, local, and fresh. If you can’t distinguish the menu, even better! The destinations that meet with Scout’s approval are also generally breathtaking, inviting and memorable. As for “Team Frymire”, we don’t shy away from late-night Taco Bell burrito runs. Scout, on the other hand, possesses a disapproving glare so we avoid eye contact when we make commercialized food choices. Look for Scout’s stamp of approval as you read his Blog and see if you agree with the rankings on his five-point scale.
Scout’s “Stamp of Approval” is not given carelessly. Only those destinations ranked at the coveted #4 and #5 spots earn a nod from such a particular rabbit. In the spirit of full disclosure, Scout has furnished you with his criteria. In ascending order from the very worst to utter perfection: The Foreboding Five-Point Scale.
The Foreboding Five-Point Scale
1. Scout would rather be fed to a pack of wolves.
Dramatic you say? Have you ever been hunted by a pack of wolves? I didn’t think so. But Scout has been hunted by a pack of ravenous desert wolves and he can assure you that a #1 experience is, quite frankly, violently worse.
2. Scout barely escaped unscathed.
This visit wasn’t deadly, but it came dangerously close to 6 p.m. at the Waffle House on Valentine’s Day: dank, greasy, and uncomfortably existential.
3. Scout thanks you for your efforts.
Scout is a rabbit with a surprisingly nuanced moral compass and therefore, is not a flatterer. In the spirit of both honesty and respect, he appreciates what this location tried to achieve, but regrettably did not achieve. In short, he “thanks you [them] for your [their] efforts”.
4. Scout thinks your grumpy neighbor will like this.
This may be your new “third place” or at least worth countless detours to get you there. Between home and work, here’s a place to meet friends, impress a grumpy neighbor, or disappear when you want to hide without being alone. Just about everybody enjoys this place and if they say they don’t, they might be a hipster who also pretends not to like frozen pizza
5. Scout says, “Grab your tribe and form a line!”
Scout shakes his ears in disbelief. This location achieved greatness in ambiance, flavor, service, and originality. Maybe it was Michelin star rated and maybe it was the corndog stand at the county fair, but THIS kind of place is why Scout blogs. Whoever you are and wherever you are, grab your people, your rabbits, or whatever species you identify as and form a line outside this door.