Scout Scouts the Scouts

Team Frymire and Scout like to face their battles head on and ears forward! (We also like to avoid ending our sentences with prepositions, but we had limited options this time. Choose your battles, people… Choose your battles.) One of our major barriers in this new make-no-money and freelance-all-day life we’ve recently curated for ourselves is that of Google and Scouts BSA.

Domain Name Registration

When we first searched the unfortunately named “Go Daddy” site for domain name availability, we were stunned that no one had ever requested “scoutgoesscouting”. Not on the .com, the .org, or the .net. We saw this as a sign of Providence. While not the suspicious types, we believed that (just maybe) the universe was conspiring with us versus against us. Naturally, we bought all three domains and became the proud owners of scoutgoesscouting.com, .org, and .net, respectively.

We began typing and traveling and generally bragging about our lives. For a brief moment, we fancied ourselves foodies, influencers, brand ambassadors, and DIY diplomats. We had arrived. Isn’t this every millennial and rabbit’s dream: to shamelessly brag about their lives for profit?

Nothing inspires us more than the imperialism of England.

But this, readers, was our downfall.

Work from Home

Like all new social media royalty (as we fancy ourselves with our 178 followers), we had a humbling moment of realization while working from home. Even though we employed the fail-proof spend-and-brag business strategy, we were utterly obsolete among the search engine courtiers. We had been forgotten –nay!– never invited to the ball! Instead, we were banished by the King of search engines: Google himself .

(Or “herself”. We embrace diversity.)

This truth hit us hard on a Wednesday afternoon which, coincidentally, is the worst afternoon of the week. Scout and I (Anna of Team Frymire) stared at our laptop in disbelief. We suddenly felt badly for the peasants of yesteryear. We had become Search Engine Optimization peasants and we couldn’t imagine why. Is it because we’re new aristocracy and the Old Guard snubs us? Is it because Anna is a woman? Or because Scout is a rabbit?

We suddenly felt badly for the peasants of yesteryear. We had become Search Engine Optimization peasants and we couldn’t imagine why.

For days, we rejected all sustenance but coffee and cookies as we wallowed in our self-made dungeon of despair. Page after page. Click after click. Where were we on Google? Would it be the 2nd page or 200th?

Click, click, click. Rejection, rejection, rejection.

As we neared our SEO death, we had a vision. A VISION, WE SAY!!! Our enemy wasn’t King Google. It was those inauspicious, unsuspecting, villainous SCOUTS OF AMERICA.

The Holy Grail

They had stolen our name before we even had the chance to claim it. It’s like they’d seized the Holy Grail when no one was looking and now they flaunted it all across North America and the Internet. It had never been more clear: this is why no one dared to claim the “scoutgoesscouting” domain.

We have just one thing to say to the Scouts of America: we’re on to you. We see beyond those cute little neck kerchiefs you wear. We see beyond all of your “should it be Boy Scouts”, “or Girl Scouts”, or just “Scouts BSA” media hype. You’ve dominated the first 100 pages of Google and no one has dared to oppose you because you’re a bunch of overachieving little kids in matching hiking outfits learning about Smokey the Bear!

Darn. You’re good.

You can imagine our distress when we discovered that Daniel of Team Frymire
was once a Cub Scout, Boy Scout, and Eagle Scout. Betrayal has many faces.

SEO Tools

This was SEO war and we needed a strategy. We searched Google with all the top phrases from “How to improve SEO” to “Why did the Boy Scouts change their name?” Along the way, we unearthed some invaluable tools:

And do you know what these invaluable tools and our overwhelming sense of self-importance did for us? They empowered us! We. Were. Empowered.

In fact, we felt so empowered that we did the most empowering thing a rabbit and an educated woman can do. We called our Daddy… Er, “Go Daddy”… for some help.

As you can imagine, we made a glowing impression on the Sales Rep who immediately compared us to Chaucer. You don’t believe us? Please see “Exhibit A” below which features a screenshot of the follow-up email from our Go Daddy Sales Rep.

Exhibit A.

We might have accidentally called his job “fair” and “mediocre”, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing for you to remember is that he compared us to Chaucer and, thus, inspired us once more! (You should also know that “Go Daddy” provides good customer service. We have not been paid for this endorsement, but will gladly accept coffee donations from all the people and places we deign to compliment.)

Ghost Writer Copy Writers

As we forged the SEO Oceans of Information, Scout and I discovered something rather sinister. We could pay someone to write SEO copy for us. Now, this isn’t illegal and it’s certainly not the worst idea for some struggling startups. But we’re writers and the very idea of paying someone else to write our posts for us to generate more Google clicks shakes us to our very core. How can we possibly give up control? How can we possibly go a day without micromanaging this blog? HOW CAN WE DO THIS THING!

So we won’t.

We won’t hire someone to write our copy for us. We won’t trust another to seize the Holy Grail for us. We will write our own magnificent SEO copy even if it kills us!

Into Battle

This is the beginning of the battle, dear readers, and you’re about to live (or die) with us. But before you begin to doubt, you should know that we’ve really already begun to conquer those unassuming, matching-neck-kerchief-wearing Scouts of America.

How? Well, wouldn’t it be sneaky of us to write a story about the evils of our nemesis and SEO while using their very power against them? Just give this post a glance. This might be the most Search Engine Optimized post we’ve ever written. And this is just the beginning…

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